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STREET BEAT!
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| "... | | Hail Freedonia (Pic) | | ..." | | --JoeThePlumber | | Freedonia is bankrupt and asking for a bailout -- sound familiar? The wealthy Mrs. Teasdale, played by the redoubtable Margaret Dumont, says the only way she'll come up with the money is if the country appoints as its new leader Rufus T. Firefly -- played by Groucho, as only a true clown can play a charlatan. He sings, "The last man nearly ruined this place, he didn't know what to do with it. If you think this country's bad off now, just wait 'til I get through with it."
Cabinet meetings are run with a decorum worthy of contemporary Washington. (Finance Minister: "Here is the Treasury Department's report, sir. I hope you'll find it clear." Groucho: "Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child, I can't make head or tail of it.") |
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How to advertise on News Spank.
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Run an ad for just .35 cents a week!
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Advertising on the News Spank Classifieds is for anyone and anything. Need a date? Lost dog? Have something to sell? News Spank is where you can reach your global audience. Just as important as the exposure you will receive, are News Spank's rates. You can run one ad and get unlimited impressions and unlimited clicks for just .35 cents a week!
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To get started, first make your graphical ad with a max width of 160px (your ad width will be resized to 160px width on display). Do not make the height more than 200px. Place that ad on a server, or upload it to your News Spank profile. Copy down the link to the ad. Then return here and fill out the required information below. The email address is only required if you expect a response to any questions about your ad. After you fill out your ad info, hit submit. You will then be redirected to the Network Decisions payment gateway to deposit your 35 cents. Afterwards you will be redirected back to the News Spank (using the (return to Network Decisions button) for confirmation. Your ad will run for 1 week and then automatically stop. News Spank reserves the right to cancel any ad, at any time, for any reason, without a refund. Reasons may include excessive size, animation, slow loading, copyright violation, improper formatting, pornographic, or offensive content. News Spank, its' agents, and owners are not liable for any claims or ad content.
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In summary, your 4 easy steps are: 1. Create your ad. 2. Fill out the form below and make sure to remember your ad pin number. 3. Submit your ad and confirm payment at the Network Decisions payment gateway. 4. THEN FOLLOW THE REDIRECT BACK TO NEWS SPANK (MAY APPEAR AS NETWORK DECISIONS) FROM AND ENTER YOUR PIN TO ACTIVATE YOUR AD.
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News Spank uses Paypal and Network Decisions to process your credit card or Paypal payments. If you require assistance with your ad, please contact newsspank@newsspank.com .
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